The Crux of the Matter

In 2017, I was accepted to C5LA, a program that partners with NOLS to create wilderness leadership opportunities. The second summer of the program, I embarked on my first backpacking trip. It was a powerful experience. One of my instructors, Felipe, often gave me grace during rough patches and became somebody I strived to emulate. At one point, friction arose in my cook group, and my attitude was not the best. I was ready to go home, but just when I felt “over it,” we stopped at a lake, and I found peace: the water was dark blue, the sun was setting, and we enjoyed dinner along the shore. 

This summer I returned to NOLS, thanks to a scholarship. My expedition instructors came from India, New Jersey, and Canada. My peers hailed from Alaska, Washington, Colorado, Virginia, and Connecticut. Many of us had heritage from various countries like Mexico, Kenya, China, the Philippines, and Argentina. Because of our diversity, I had the opportunity to listen to different perspectives and stories from places I didn’t expect.

Since my first NOLS expedition, I’ve spent quite a bit of time outdoors building my wilderness skills. However, this expedition remained a formidable journey. Even simple tasks became more involved, whether that meant purifying water or finding two other people willing to go to the restroom with you (because we were in bear country). Eventually, these tasks felt like a breeze. We’d learned that relying on each other was necessary.

Our instructors took the time to know each of us: they wanted to understand who we were in our worlds; they wanted us to flourish into leaders who could succeed.

They reminded us to be kind, to advocate for ourselves, to learn from each other, and to communicate effectively. These sound like simple behaviors, but an expedition tests your patience and reactions to unexpected hardships. Sometimes knowing how to execute these skills isn’t enough; putting them into practice becomes a choice. 

During the course, our instructors also taught us the skills required to multi-pitch climb. I worried I wasn’t skilled enough. However, when I was finally on the wall, moving from one hold to another, I thought, “I’m scared as hell. And I’m actually doing it!” I savored the fear of falling, the wind, and the raindrops. I didn’t even notice my fingers bleeding until I finished. We all came back from our first multi-pitch climb notably different: some were calmer than usual, others were still buzzing with adrenaline. 

Each time I’ve completed a course, I have left knowing I have grown during my trek, but also that I have much more to learn. It works like a mirror for me: I keep reflecting on my experience well after it’s happened.

I’ve also found that the people I meet during NOLS courses cement themselves as individuals I will think about forever. I carry the lessons and memories they’ve gifted me in a toolbox I open often.