Into the Wild, Every Day

Both my boys went on NOLS trips when they were 15, spending five weeks in the Wyoming wilderness. With bears. For five weeks, I had no contact with them. For a parent, especially a nervous Nellie like me, that’s an eternity.

I admit that on week No. 4 of my older son’s trip, I couldn’t take it anymore. I called the NOLS office. I was as apologetic as I could be as I mumbled to the poor woman who just happened to pick up the phone that I was calling to see how things were going because I hadn’t heard anything. In a calm, patient and reassuring voice she told me what she probably has repeated to hundreds of nervous parents — “no news is good news.”

I relaxed … somewhat.

But if the bear mauling had occurred before I sent my boys into the wild with NOLS, would I still have sent them?

Yes.

While both my boys loved their trips, those five weeks in the wilderness were transformational for my older son. They gave him the confidence he desperatedly needed.

After years of doing everything I could to keep my boys safe, healthy and alive, I had come to the really hard part — letting go and having faith in what they could do. If we parents have done our job right, our kids can do a lot — without us.

The teens in Alaska proved that. They were on the portion of their trip without a leader; they were on their own. And, because they had been trained, they set up a tent and used their newly learned first-aid skills to care for the teens who were hurt, two severely, until help arrived.

They made mistakes, of course. But what the NOLS spokesperson said at the time is true: “young people can handle a lot of responsibility if given the opportunity.”

Not just the opportunity, but also the skills and our trust. If we try to keep our kids from failing or making mistakes, if we protect them from every real or perceived danger, if we hover and control and micromanage and smother, they will never learn those skills. 

Read the full story here.